Month: September 2017

Married with Children/Dogs

Three years went by before we exchanged vows in October of 2014. She is everything my heart desired–a tiny five feet three inches, 110 pounds, long (salt and pepper) hair, and an enchanting smile.

I learned a lot about her character and personality, from her profile on— “Christian Mingle.com.” Her core color—White. My core color—Red. Red is also her favorite color. It therefore, didn’t take much for me to convince her that we could easily blend into a beautiful pink–another of her favorite colors. She joyfully agreed with an exuberant– “Yes we can.”

But, on listening to the key-note-speaker, at one of the many pre-marital seminars we attended, the 85-year-old pastor testified; “My wife and I are now married 65 years. The secret—I did not fall in love.” Surprised… we looked at each other, as a deafening silence blanketed the entire audience of about three hundred.

The speaker paused–giving everyone the opportunity to tune-in, to the next statement he was about to make. “But,” he continued, “I made a conscious decision to love her, based on the wise and godly counsel of others who knew us both. Many turbulent years have passed, but I’ve stood by my decision.” “Of course,” he said, smiling confidently as he gently adjusted his glasses over his m-shaped nose–“I’m now more deeply in love with her than ever, and it’s only death that can separate us now.”
I had not heard such profundity, about love and marriage—spoken with such simplicity. Immediately 1000 watts of light turned on in my head and heart. At that very moment, I decided–this is the woman, I want to love, honor and, cherish–in sickness, or in health, for richer, or poorer, till death do we part. So help me God!

However, her marriage package includes two adult daughters, and a ten months old grand-baby-girl; who loves singing especially when we’re at church. Our favorite hymn is, “Praise God from whom all blessings flow.”
But, the other half of this nuptial bond, involves not one, no–not two, but three dogs. Gigi, Pork Chop, and Honey– all females.  Our “empty nest” is inhabited by other life forms, which follow her footstep, everywhere. I mean every–where!

No! I don’t like pets–not cats, not dogs, not birds, not even a fish. I did as a child but I grew up and I have no time for pets, and I doubt I ever will. (Go ahead and sue me, or you can report me to the local ASPCA.)

Oh yes! Courtship can be euphoric. But, I had no idea; these four-legged creatures were going to be such a menace to our marriage. Why did I commit to this relationship? Simply… I made a decision, to love my wife, and I’m determined to go all the way.

Nevertheless, I’m convinced that before I spend my time and money on anything with four legs—canine, feline, bovine or otherwise–I would rather feed a hungry child somewhere in the world. Pet maintenance is costly. Three different brands of dog food, pee-pee pads, treats, pet licenses, and visits to the Vet…

In addition to all of the above, I’ve bought more lint brushes in the last six months, than I needed in the last fifty-five years. Dogs’ hair is everywhere, regardless of  how much we vacuum, sweep or Swiffer.

Don’t sit anywhere–is the repeated warning I hear every Sunday morning as we get dressed for church.

The constant demand for care and attention: walking, feeding, rubbing, bathing, etc. I would rather give to a human being– “Paying it Forward.” Dogs, on the other hand–regardless of the number of years of training, walking, feeding and cleaning up after–will never learn to wipe their butts or their feet before coming back into the house. These barking, Chicken-flavored-dogchow eating canines, simply walk back in, never closing the door, and get right back on the couch like nothing just happened.

Furthermore, will man’s best friend ever learn to go walking on their own, and return at a decent hour?

Can they, simply inspect each other’s rear end, without all the fussing, growling and fighting for no apparent reason?

Will they ever learn to knock on bedroom doors before entering

Will they ever learn to take baths or showers, and tidy up their beds?

When will they learn to go to the pantry, and pour a bowl of Gravy Train–cleaning up any spills?

Will they ever be able to open the door, to go out to the bathroom on their own? They seem to know how to find the right spot in the yard–so, why can’t they just open the same door, we’ve been opening since they were puppies?

I empathize with the elderly, who–in spite of adverse weather conditions, or the severity of their aches and pains–must take their dogs out for a “poop and scoop” walk. I often wonder–who’s walking whom?

And why are they holding-on to that loaded plastic bag as if it’s contents were valuable?

Will they ever come-to-terms with the fact that the mailman is here to deliver the mail and there’s no need for alarm? Enough, with all that barking and scratching, I’m sick of it!

Moreover, the older they get, the worse it becomes. Gigi’s recent visit to the Vet. for her constant vomiting, diarrhea, and loss of appetite, cost a whopping $350.00. Then, there was the special diet for two weeks, while we nursed her back to health. Dogs, ahh hh hh!

 

Gigi is eighteen years old. Her sister Pork Chop is seventeen. These off-breed Chihuahuas are the typical retired, older-seniors, with all the morning aches and ailments. Instead of the usual 6:00 a.m. backyard bathroom, Gigi pretends to be asleep and waits until we leave for work. She then finds her favorite corner of the living-room carpet to do her business. I think she is trying to tell us; she’s too old to go outside. (especially during those cold-winter days.)

The issue now is, whoever gets home first is greeted by the offensive odor, and therefore, must do the clean-up. I have learned after several tours of duty to remain later than usual on my job-site. (I’m self-employed). Teresa is a state employee and is usually home by 5:00 p.m. So, with “Bounty” in her right hand, the kitchen garbage container in her left—she bows to her knees, applying the quicker-thicker-picker-upper to the obnoxious, excreted mixture on the floor and walls. How does that slimy, brownish, green stuff get on the walls? We have no idea.

Pork-Chop is legally blind and also needs hearing aid. She’s an introvert, who prefers the comfort of a secret hideout behind the couch. She also has severe gas problems. You cannot be in the room for more than two minutes without getting a whiff of her presence. Yeh–she stinks.

Honey, is a 7-year-old Cocker Spaniel. A run-you-over, over-active female with a personality that’s almost human. Whenever she gets ready to play, you can either take the ball from her mouth or pick it up off the floor. But, she’ll wait about two minutes for you to decide, before dropping it–as if to say, “since you didn’t take it from me, you can pick it up yourself–but, we will play ball.”.

In their frustration–being left outside for more than thirty minutes, they’ll wander off into the neighborhood. A recent call from a not-so-friendly neighbor, turned out to be a thirty-minutes lecture on the proper care of animals. On and on she painted several scenarios of what could have happened; repeating the words–“you people” at every pause. Listening to her snobbish criticisms, you would think the dogs purposely came over to her house to complain.

This triple canine package is what I subscribed to, on marrying the woman I so dearly love. But, as the saga unfolds, the dogging evidence proves, that marriage is one thing, but with dogs–it’s O M G!

Why should she be rubbing their tummy, scratching their heads or hugging them when that kind of affection works better on me? I’ve often suggested that she makes better use of her time, especially after I’ve had a hard days’ work.

Whenever we sit together watching TV, Pork Chop sits on her right, Gigi on her left and Honey on her lap, leaving me to sit alone while they enjoy the comfort of her touch. Whenever I do get a chance to sit next to her, they will step across my lap to get to her. I’m an extremely patient man, and I love my wife, but this has got to stop.

An occasional feeding, the constant opening of the door day and night, I’m learning to deal with, but sharing my wife with dogs—this is my greatest challenge yet.

Why am I putting up with all this dog-gone drama? Has our marriage gone to the dogs? Why does a simple hug have to be always, so carefully negotiated, lest we step on the dogs? The recurring answer is–I love my wife, and yes–she loves’ me dearly.

“Love endures all things.”

I’m certainly learning patience, meekness and forgiveness, and most of all–to love–as Christ loves the church and gave himself for it. (Ephesians 5:25,KJV).

In conclusion, My daily prayer is–Lord, whenever you visit our house–“Be-Ware of The Dogs.”

Why Marriage?

 

‘Because God said so‘ can, occasionally, be an okay answer for a Christian who trusts God, but to an unbeliever it is like eating fire; likewise, to a disconnected child it is going to mean absolute rebellion.

Every three-year-old goes through the phase where, whatever is said to them, they’ll ask–Why?
Martha, it’s time to go to bed.
Why?
Because it’s getting late and we need to be up early for work, and you have school.
Why?
Because we have bills, and you need an education.
Why?
That’s life in the real world. OK… Now let’s go on to bed.
Why?
BECAUSE–I SAID SO. Now—go to bed or you’ll feel what happens next.
With so many negatives attached to the institution of marriage, it’s almost justifiable to ask; why…?
Why get married when you can just live together?
Why get married when “men can’t be faithful, and women cannot be trusted”?
Why get married when you can remain single and don’t have to deal with a spouse.
Who needs a man when a girl can have all the pleasure she wants with her toys?
Who needs a wife, when you can have the woman over for the weekend.

So, Why marriage?
1.Because God said so; “It’s not good that the man should be alone. I will make him an help meet.” Genesis 2:18. Living single is not part of the Masters plan.

2. A man needs a woman, and a woman needs a man to carry out the divine plan. Adam and Eve were the only two people present when God said, “Be fruitful and multiply… ” Genesis 1:28.

3. Any sexual activity outside of marriage is adultery or fornication. It’s not open-mindedness, and It’s not sexual fluidity. But, It’s degenerative, it’s sinful, and it’s wrong.

4. Marriage is the foundation for the family. An in-committed relationship has no structure. Hence “wherever Papa lays his hat, that’s his home.” Mama is never at home because she always has some place to go. Where? No one knows. We can speculate, but…. Thus, the children are left to fend for themselves with no adult supervision.
God in his infinite wisdom established the family, a man, his wife, and the children. Regardless of ethnicity and even in the animal kingdom, the family is made up of a male, a female, and their babies.

5. The most honorable thing a man can do in the eyes of God is to get married and take care of his family–in doing so, he’s following the example of Christ.

6. In marriage, a husband learns to love like Christ. God’s plan is that marriage progressively molds the man into the image of Christ. A man at the moment of his most intimate pleasure is most vulnerable. A wise woman knows how and when to make her request known.
Like Christ—who, for the joy set before him endured the death of the cross. In His most vulnerable moment, “grace” flowed without measure.

7. The married pastor learns (first-hand) the relationship between, Christ and the Church. For, the husband is to the wife, what Christ is to the church. Conversely, the wife is to her husband what the church is to Christ. Therefore, the pastors home is his first church. “For if a man knows not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God. 1Timothy 3:5.

8. In marriage, the wife exemplifies the church–she learns obedience to God by submitting to her husband. “wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord in everything.” Ephesians 5:24. Her submission to her husband is directly proportionate to her submission to God. If she refuses to obey God, she will not submit to her husband.

9. Marriage is a mark of maturity, a significant milestone in our human development. In 1st Corinthians 13:11 the Apostle Paul writes: “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (emphasis added).
Maturity involves taking on responsibility and a commitment to discipline. Someone has said, “The size of the man is measured by the weight of the responsibility he’s willing to carry.”

10. All men are not dogs. Many of us, have a sincere desire to be like Christ. In our quest, we don’t always get it right, but by the grace of God, we are learning obedience, by the things we and our fathers have suffered.

11. A basic rule in the royal family is never to marry a commoner. Old fashion as it may seem–it has biblical foundations. The Bible says, “Be not unequally yolk together with unbelievers… ” 2 Corinthians 6:14. Compatibility is essential in any relationship.

12. The ring–the symbol of marriage, should say, I belong, not I’m taken. To belong encourages yielded participation and a conduct becoming of the relationship. (submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.) Taken, however, conveys a sense of reluctant involvement fostering rebellion rather than yielded obedience.

13. Marriage is for love and because of love. However, love is a verb—it’s alive with action because it requires assembly. What good is having all the ingredients, if no one is willing to patiently mix them together, and bake the cake?

14. Marriage is reserved for compatible adults only. (“When Christians Mingle, Match doth come.”) Men and women who are willing to invest their lives together, in obedience to God. He, as architect and the wise master-builder; knows the end from the beginning, but like every construction project, each step is sequential. You cannot do step # 7, if you didn’t complete step 6.
It’s always costly and overwhelmingly frustrating when you have to go back, tear down what you’ve already built and start over again. Hence, ‘’Precept must be upon precept.”

15. Because God hates divorce. Malachi 2:14-16.

Ps. Same-sex marriage is not an alternative to Gods plan. The Bible said, it’s unnatural, unseemly and an abomination in the eyes of God. (Romans 1:24-28, Leviticus 18:22). Furthermore, two people of the same-sex cannot reproduce, neither should they be allowed to raise children: their actions will only serve to corrupt the mind of the minor.

Mama said, “Child don’t be silly, two left shoes can never be right regardless of who’s wearing them.”

 

Marriage Equality and the Stupid Questions.

” Here I Stand… I Can Do No Other. So Help Me God… ”
These were the words of Dr. Martin Luther the renowned Reformer of the 15th Century. It was at such a time as this, “When basic Biblical Precepts were totally discarded, and those in high offices were actually selling license to sin.” However, the stark difference today is that these licenses are wrapped in a political agenda-labeled made in America, (one size fits all) and marketed as Gay Pride.
Traditionally, a marriage license is granted to individuals, male and female who intend on being joined together in Holy Matrimony. But, In these so called modern times, legislation are being approved from state to state–granting leeway for same sex couples to be married and their marriage be recognized as equal to the marriage of a man and a woman.

All of my life, some 50 odd years–I have always known a husband to be a man and a wife to be a woman. I’ve never had to consult a dictionary, Google, wikiHow or even ask anyone. All around me, in every sector of society: my home (Mom and Dad.), the neighbors, at school, at church, in government, (the President and First Lady)– everywhere without question or conflict there were men, and there were women. Men stood boldly confident in their position as Mr… , the husband of… , and women proudly wore their Mrs… , the wife of… There were little or no questions about the identity of the man or the woman.

A woman distinctly separated herself from any appearances as a man. Even the women of ill-repute were clearly identified as mistresses. Whose mistress and how well she was paid, separated her from her competitors. Mistress, lady of the night, or by whatever name she was called ; her identity was clear–she’s a woman.
A classy woman with some measure of wealth and recognition was considered a lady. A lady–defined by her social status, would be accompanied by a distinguished, gentleman.

But, there’s a new trend sweeping across our nation; the once– black and white distinction of male and female has now confusingly become several shades of dingy grey. The impact of this shady trend is such that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to determine whether you are looking at a man or a woman. This, coupled with the (LGBT) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transvestite community’s twisted agenda–is the sociologically complex future of our nation. Can you imagine a modern day America with a transvestite as president.  He or she conveniently interchangeable, depending on the circumstances?  Mr. President  one day and Mrs. Madam President the next. The First Lady may also be the First Man.

Have we as a nation, become so technologically advanced that we can now remove the foundation on which our civilized society has been built? Has the United States of America updated its profile to–“One nation, no longer under God”?
Nothing could be more ridiculous and unspeakably absurd as to consider, that in this 21st century, a wife can be a man, and a husband can be a woman.
Am I to believe that our national leaders expects me– a baby boomer–hooked on phonics, to follow this new-age direction and abandon my half century of learning so as to be up-to-date with this so called modern era–a society of repugnantly perverted men and women burning in sinful lust, one for the other.

In the sixties, the word gay once meant, happy or joyous. In the eighties and nineties it became synonymous with homosexuality. It has now fully matured and subtly transitioned into a whole new meaning depicting the culture of the LGBTQ. In this 21st century, the word gay simply means homosexual.
A man having sex with another man was once kept a secret shame. Furthermore, the Medical Journal prior to 1970 classified homosexuality as a mental illness; today, our consciences have become so seared that the abominable has become our national pride. This cancerous infection of human dignity, once benign–left untreated in the closet, is now a malignant epidemic.

The deceitful behavior of a cheating spouse (male or female) is abhorred as infidelity. Infidelity however, diluted into the “Gay” community, assimilates as open-mindedness.

God says’ marriage between a man and a woman, is “Honorable.” Hebrews13:4. “Same-Sex Marriage” he says’ is an “Abomination”Leviticus18:22.
There is no justice here in the eyes of Almighty God.
So here I stand, flat-footed on the eternal word of God.

Here are some of the Stupid Questions that come up…

Can Same-sex marriage be equal to a marriage between man and a Woman? The smart answer is– no.

How can two men cannot have an intimate relationship, unless one assumes the submissive role of the effeminate female?

Why would a man want a husband?
Why would a woman want a wife?

In seeking benefits as a wife, (in a partnership of two male.) how do you define the wife– When, the person in reference is actually a man?
Also, if they are pronounced as husband and husband; how can he claim benefits as a wife when he is a husband?
Well, is he the husband of a husband?
Is she, the wife of a wife?

Stupid Questions indeed.

Can they then both claim benefits as wives?

Will he be denied benefits, since they are both husbands?

When is the husband recognized as the wife?

When is the wife acknowledged, as the husband?

How many wives are there in a marriage?
How many husbands in a marriage?

In the relationship of two women, how do you claim benefits as a wife when you have a wife?

If you are not the wife in the marriage how do you claim benefits as the husband when you are also a wife?

These are just some of the stupid questions that arise in this senseless debate.

In times past, every young man’s goal was to marry a beautiful “Princess”, the girl of his dreams. Every young girl’s desire was to marry her “Knight in Shining Armor”– the young man who will fulfill her every desire. However, our society today is woefully affected by a climate of such utter darkness; that men leaving the natural use of a woman burn in their lust, one for another; men with men and likewise the women abandoning the natural desire for a man burn in their lust for each another. Committing acts which is against nature. Romans 1:26-32.

The truth is, if you are blind–it really doesn’t matter how bright the light shines. You are just… like my Grandma used to say, “You just plain ole blind.”

Consider this: In the animal kingdom, the family structure is made up of a male and a female: Dogs, Cats, Monkeys, and Rabbits just to name a few.
However, dogs and cats do not practice same sex relationships, as a matter of fact Monkeys don’t practice same sex relationships either–neither do rabbits, but College Grads do, Pastors, Ministers, so-called Christians, State Senators, Governors, Businessmen, Celebrities both in Sports and the Arts, Pan-Sexual Legislators… they all consider homosexuality an acceptable lifestyle.

If anyone is still having difficulty understanding the birds and bees basics of sexuality, and have already graduated high school, I strongly recommend tutorials– 1.”The lion king.” 2. “Finding Nemo.” These two movies should help to fill in the blanks.

The question once asked, “Are we smarter than a 5th grader?” But, the real question is– are we smarter than a monkey? Let’s quit all the silly debating over such a straightforward subject. What does the Bible say?
The facts are remarkably clear and quite understandable; we can pretend to be blind all we want to, but, I’m sure we can all hear the sound of the locomotive coming down these tracks.

In 1958, Arthur Schlesinger Jr. wrote an essay on– “The Crisis of American Masculinity”
In his essay, he asked: “WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE AMERICAN MALE? For a long time, he seemed utterly confident in his manhood, sure of his masculine role in society, easy and defined in his sense of sexual identity. They were men, and it did not occur to them to think twice about it.
Even well into the twentieth century… but one begins to detect a new theme emerging; the theme of the male hero increasingly preoccupied with proving his virility to himself… And by mid-century, the male role had plainly lost its’ rugged clarity of outline.
Today, men are more and more conscious of maleness not as a fact but as a problem.
The ways by which American men affirm their masculinity are uncertain and obscure. “THERE ARE MULTIPLYING SIGNS, INDEED, THAT SOMETHING HAS GONE BADLY WRONG WITH THE AMERICAN MALE’S CONCEPTION OF HIMSELF.”
This was in the year 1958. Here, we are today– with remarkable progress in so many other areas, yet we have become degenerates as humans with regards to discipline and morality.

Here’s one of those multiplying signs: A man marrying another man, seeks equality of spousal benefits as a man marrying a woman? By no means, should any society tolerate such behavior especially at a national level. If a man or a woman wants to dishonor their body in homosexual relations– then that’s their stinking, private business. We are free to do whatever we choose with your bodies. But know this– one day we will all stand before God to give an account for the deeds done. But, to ask the public to accept such a lifestyle as equal to that of a traditional marriage is absolutely ridiculous. It’s an insult to our Creator and to every right way. We may as well veto all Criminal laws, particularly “Thou shalt not kill” and Thou shalt not steal”. let Anarchy reign.

Here’s another sign. Polyamory–The whole rotten agenda of the proponents of this derogatory subject–an offspring of Marriage Equality is that married couples can share their beds with other married couples or singles and expand the network as far and wide as possible.

Furthermore, with this New-Age mindset there’ll be no limits to the number of partners, regardless of genders or age, individually or in groups and not limited to humans only.

Public Bestiality then becomes the next tabooed item on the obnoxious agenda of the–“Sexuality Freedom Fighters.” Very soon, this closet will also be emptied on the streets and parks of our nation. Then, Marriage Equality for animals and their human spouses will be the  subject for the legislature–in the New World Government.

In a recent article by Stacey Nelkin– Open-Minded about Open Marriage–She indicated that couples should be open-minded about open marriage. The question then becomes–how wide? Well, let’s see; tonight we invite the friendly, next door neighbors to share our bed. On tomorrow, for some variety–“the spice of life”, we invite the other mixed couple, across the street. By the week’s end, it’s an “Open House”; the public is invited, come- one, come-all, open your minds, explore your options, try new things, be free from all inhibitions.
Bring your dogs, cats, or whatever is your freak. Bring in the donkeys. Can anyone bring an elephant? Bigger is always better.

Can the children join the party; Oh no!–Little Bobby is only six years old.
“Go to your room boy.”
“Okay mom.” “Aaahhh… Mom can I then have some of my friends over– maybe we can have our own freedom party?”
Who sets the boundaries to this bizarre open-minded-madness?

the Stupid Questions (2016)